My mom phoned me some time ago and said: “We have to talk.“. I knew that something was up. At that time I had no idea what, but my gut feeling said something bad. And I was right. Unfortunately.
This is why I became a frequent flyer (Malaga-Amsterdam). It wasn’t my own choice, but this is why I am in Amsterdam so much. Thing is. My mom has cancer. She is dying. We are taking as much time as we can to be there for her. Well. To be honest. Not at first. This was too much for me to handle. I being a chicken. I was too scared to talk about it. It stings. You know. This déjà vu is such a bad one. I have been there before. So yeah. It took me some time to give it a place. And I am still trying to become a better person. I have to, but this is just so freaking painful. So difficult. It’s my mom. I think that you know what I am trying to say here. Right?
Now. This Monday we entered a new stage. Another big one to freak out about. Her belongings need to be documented and labeled. Mom wants me to do that for her. Who gets what. God almighty. Like I do care. I don’t. I want my mom to be there for us. Her children, and our children. That however is not going to happen. Not for long anyway. That much we know already, but every day is one. I want to make the best of it. If that is even possible.
Well. Anyway. This all also means that I have to be a less frequent poster. I’m sure that you understand this. Hey. No drama. Just real-life that sucks. Sometimes. Thank you for your understanding.